June 21, 2009

2009 06 21

Our Father

Genesis 27:30-41

Matthew 5:38-48

Psalm 103:11-14

Father's Day is usually one of those days, where I reflect upon my relationship with my dad and all that he has taught me, and how much he means to me.  A few days back, Jen even asked me if I was going to preach about my dad and the wonderful relationship that I have with him.  But as our children grow older, I am seeing more and more the importance of being a dad myself.  Each year, I see more and more how being a dad makes me a better person

This past week, at Annual Conference, I took Katie with me each day.  She would go to VBS there in the morning and to childcare in the afternoons while I was in session.  Jen and Ben came up on Wednesday too, but for the most part, Katie and I got to spend our lunches and evenings together, just the two of us before we would head home, starting again in the morning. 

I love being a father.  Some of you men out there have been in the dad business a lot longer than me, while others might just be getting started yourselves.  But I do know one thing...it's not easy.  You can't just read a book, and voila!  I become a great dad.  I have had to get my hands dirty.  I have learned a lot from my dad.  I have seen some of his strengths and his weaknesses, and loved him throughout it all.  But I have learned just as much from Jennifer and the kids themselves. 

My dad helped raise three kids, and changed only ONE diaper.  I did not have that luxury.  Like I said, I have had to get my hands dirty.  I have had to be a dad while Jennifer went through chemo and radiation.  I have had to coach Katie's soccer team, when no one else volunteered.  I have had to be a dad while Jennifer was in nursing school, getting the kids off to school in the mornings and off the buses in the afternoons.  I have had to be a dad while Jennifer and I met with teachers and administrators figuring out how to best care for Ben's needs.

Times have changed quite a bit from when my dad grew up to when I grew up to when our kids are growing up.  And fatherhood has changed along with it.  I am going to take a moment and say that I love my father, and I believe that he has done a great job as my dad.  He worked hard.  He supported and cared for his family.  I know that my dad loves my mom and each of us kids.  Did I tell you that today is also my parents' 51^st wedding anniversary?  I hope to be a great a dad as he is.  With the changing times, I just know that I will have to be a different type of dad. 

We have probably all heard the phrase...dysfunctional families.  To be honest, with all the change we have seen in families in the last 20-30 years, it is difficult to figure exactly what a functional family is supposed to look like.  In a way, I think we all come from dysfunctional families.  It is just how we all handle our dysfunctional lives, all while being a family at the same time. 

Every family has its problems and struggles, and the families of the Old Testament were not exception.  In our passage from Genesis 27, we have a pretty good example of a family in turmoil.  It is the story of Jacob and Esau, twin brothers who were at each other and after each other from the time they were born.  Esau was born first.  As the first born, he would receive his father's fortunes.  Now remind you, just because he received these fortunes, it doesn't mean that he would share any of it with Jacob.  So one day In Genesis 25, as Esau came in from the open country, he was starved.  So Jacob tricked Esau into surrendering his birthright...and his father's fortunes with it...to Jacob.

However, not only did the firstborn receive the father's fortunes, but he also received a special blessing.  In today's passage, Jacob tricks his father into giving this blessing to him, while Esau is out hunting.  When Esau returns, it is too late.  The blessing has been given to Jacob, and nothing can change this. 

³⁴ When Esau heard his father's words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, "Bless me-- me too, my father!"...³⁶ He has deceived me these two times: He took my birthright, and now he's taken my blessing!" Then he asked, "Haven't you reserved any blessing for me?"

My brother is nine years older than me.  Growing up there was not a lot of sibling rivalry between us.  He was older and usually off doing his own thing.  And although we never really fought over anything, Esau' words just seem to ring in my ears. ³⁸ as Esau said to his father, "Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!" Then Esau wept aloud.

Just as we know sons and daughters who were the apple of their father's eye, we also know of people like Esau, who did not receive their father's blessing or maybe their father's love.  We know of people wronged and hurt by family members.  There are people out there for which Father's Day is not a day of celebration or remembrance because they have been harmed so greatly by their dads.  Esau plotted his revenge on his brother Jacob, and would have carried it out with great swiftness.  However, he honored his father, Isaac, and Esau would not harm Jacob until after Isaac had died.  "The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob."

Again, we know people like this.  There are people walking this earth with grudges, anger, and bitterness in their hearts.  They are out there waiting to exact their revenge on someone...anyone who has hurt them, disrespected them or simply done them wrong.  Like Esau, they are walking this earth as if they have lost their birthright and their blessing...and life has no meaning. 

What is the answer?  Who is it that can bring blessing to the lost and life to the meaningless?  It is Jesus.  In Matthew 5, Jesus tells us what we are supposed to do. 

³⁸ "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' ³⁹ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰ And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹ If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Jesus tells us that we are to give up our claim to vengeance.  Jesus flips the tables on us.  He turns things upside-down.   We are to surrender our right to make things right for ourselves.  As difficult as it is in this day and age, we are to turn the other cheek.  Jesus tells us to give more than we are required...to go the extra mile...to help more than we might feel like it.  And this all sounds like great advice, but to someone like Esau the question is this:  how?  How do I...how does anyone lay down all the wrongs, all the hurts, all the pain...when it is so real?  Fortunately Jesus gives us the answer;  love.

⁴³ "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' ⁴⁴ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

I read this somewhere, so I can't take credit for it, but someone said that, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."  To someone who has been hurt, Jesus' call to love our enemies might seem like a pie-in-the-sky ideology.  But it is true.  When we allow ourselves to be filled with anger, hatred, and resentment...and maybe we feel justified in feeling so...we are still only hurting ourselves. 

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

If you are a Christian, you cannot live like this.  To know God is to you know what your sins are.  By the power of the Holy Spirit, they weigh heavy upon your heart.  And so in the name of Jesus...you cry out to God, our heavenly Father for forgiveness, and it is yours...it is ours...it is mine.  But there is more to the life of a Christian than being forgiven.  We want to be...we are called to be sons and daughters...children of our heavenly Father.  Jesus tells us to: Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.  This perfection is only possible when we are so broken, so transparent, so empty of everything that we demand for ourselves.  This perfection is possible only when we are willing to lay our bitterness and resentment...those things that are killing us little by little each day.  And fully embrace God's love for us.  When we fully embrace God's love, then we can love others like this...even our enemies...those who have hurt us or seek to do so.

We may spend our lives trying to please our earthly fathers and receive their blessings.  So that we do not have to live under the servanthood of our brothers.  However, Jesus tells us that we are to willfully make ourselves the servant of our brothers, so that we might receive the blessing of our heavenly father.

On this Father's Day, I look at my children.  Katie and Ben have their little disagreements, and with Ben's condition, it is tough to teach forgiveness.  I hope that as their dad, I will be able to model God's love and forgiveness to them, all the days of their lives.  Let us celebrate our fathers this Father's Day, but let us celebrate God's call to perfect love everyday, so that we might be sons and daughters of our Father in heaven.